Razorblade Romance
by cutalongthedottedline
Summary: Fang has a problem, and when the flock is captured by the school, the whitecoats notice this and send him, along with max for moral support to an adolescent mental hospital birchoak wood institute. Will contain lots and lots of fax! rating may go up...
1. Chapter 1

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**AN:** This is chapter1, of our story Razorblade Romance. As you may have guessed from the title, this story involves self harming, strong language and scenes of a sexual nature (yay for fax!). This is a joint story between myself and the-only-english-rose. 

**Disclaimer:** Obviously, we do not own any of the characters you recognise, however, there are quite a few characters and places names etc that we do own. You may notice that this story shares a few plot details with CrimsonScarz story, "scars" and we've spoken to her abut this and she's absoloutely fine with it.

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Jeb Batchelder looked on as a group of white-coated scientists examined the six semi-conscious children strapped to the far wall of the lab. 

Suddenly one of the sceintists called to him, snapping him out of his sombre reverie.

"Proffesor! Come and look at this, we may have a problem."

Jeb hurried over to where the scientists had gathered round the darker, more severe looking boy. He was taller and thinner than he had been last time Jeb had seen him, but other than that, there were no obvious problems.

"What is it? He looks fine to me." Jeb questioned.

As an answer, the scientist who had called Jeb over pulled up the sleeve to the boys jacket, showing an array of deep cuts

and scars all over his arm.

"I see." Jeb sighed, there had always been a possibility that something like this would happen. And now it had.

"Well, we need to do something about this, that's for certain, these children are too important. Anyone have any ideas as to how to fix this mess he's got himself into?"

The youngest scientist spoke up,

"How are we supposed to know? We're not here to play pschycologists."

"You're right. We have to send him somewhere else. Didn't your cousin go to some sort of adolescent mental institute McGraham?"Jeb asked impatiently.

"Yes…" McGraham answered quietly

"Birchoak Wood Institution, it did her loads of good."

Another scientist spoke up,

" That's fine. We'll pack him off tomorrow. I'll go make the arrangements now."

"Wait…" Jeb thought for a moment, "Do you really expect him to stay there, by himself, having no idea what's happening to the rest of his 'flock'?"

"What, you want to send the whole lot there? That won't work."

"No, we don't have to send the whole flock, just one. Maybe experiment 8?" Jeb gestured towards a tall, stawberry blonde boy.

A female scientist piped up, "No, send 6."

"6? What would he want to stay there with a girl for?" McGraham asked incredulously.

"Just trust me; it's a girl thing. She'll make him stay."

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Okay, so what did you think???? It was short but was it boring????? review and tell us!

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	2. Chapter 2

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**AN:** This is chapter1, of our story Razorblade Romance. As you may have guessed from the title, this story involves self harming, strong language and scenes of a sexual nature (yay for fax!). This is a joint story between myself and the-only-english-rose. 

**Disclaimer:** Obviously, we do not own any of the characters you recognise, however, there are quite a few characters and places names etc that we do own. You may notice that this story shares a few plot details with CrimsonScarz story, "scars" and we've spoken to her abut this and she's absoloutely fine with it.

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The building was tall, grey and bland.

Rather like exactly how I was feeling right now, Max obviously had the same opinion as me, and was coplaining from the moment we caught sight of it to when she was dragged off down to the other end of the corridor by a nurse.

Honestly, you'd think they'd make this place more cheerful; I'm supposed to be here to combat my depression.

"…and this is your room, you'll be sharing with a lovely young lad named…errr… yes, so I'm sure you'll be bosom buddies in no time." What the…? Bosom buddies? I hope not….

The doctors here were even more depressing than the building.

I've never met anyone more condescending in my life.

He started off on another rant, chatting on about god knows what, untill I had enough and opened the door to my room – or should I say, cell – went in and slammed it shut in his face.

This had the desired effect, he just left me to it.

I glared at the oh-so-subtlely placed security camerea in the corner of the room, above a bulky closet with three draws in the bottom.

There was a sink with a mirror on the same wall, as well as a desk and swivel chair made out of the same wood as the closet.

The walls were painted what was meant to be a "cheerful" blue, though it looked more like a "solemn" grey.

There were two single beds, one in the far corner against the window, and the other was next to it against the same wall as the door, separated by an impossibly small bedside table.

The walls aroud the door-side bed were covered in posters – all checked before hand by the staff, of course – and on the bed a guy about my age was eying me suspiciously.

The minute I looked at him, he looked away and got off his bed and walked out, slamming the door behind him.

I walked over to my bed and sat down, dumping my bag on the floor.

Itook of my left shoe – black converse, naturally – and pried out the slim piece of metal I had hidden there.

I sighed, looking down at the shiny razorblade in my palm. It was too hard; not to give in to temptation. This one tiny piece of metal had become my life.

And look where it's got me.

Ina mental institution. Yay.

Funny thing is, I don't even mind the fact that I cut and I definitely don't want to stop.

It scares me, the way cutting has taken over my life, the way that I can't even go a few hours without cutting.

At the same time, I love cutting, I love the way that just one swipe of the blade across my skin can erase all the stress from my brain.

Then there's the wonderful feeling, the endorphines making you belive that anything and everything in possible. There;s not need to be scared of anything.

What you want; you can have.

When I cut,I can nearly feely happy, nearly forget what happened.

Maybe one day, if I cut deep enough I can reach through to the feeling I used to have, the way I was when I was tiny, before..

I can cause enough physical pain to wipe out emotional pain.

Maybe.

One day.

I cut deep through the skin at the top of my arm, rejoycing as the tiny globules of blood joined together to form one long, thin red line.

I waited for a few seconds,riding the ultimate high, before I got out my tube of antiseptic and rubbed a little onto my cut to avoid infection.

Deep breaths, Fang, in and out. In and out.

I wish I could just leave it at that, just one cut, end of.

But I can't.

I cut again and again, further and deeper before, not caring about hitting a vein. Not caring about anything really.

If I get far enough, I can forget.

And the endorphines make it seem sas If forgetting is easy.

Whether it's easy or not, it's what I have to do. The only way to move forwards.

I wish there was another way.

There's not.

The door banged open and a plump, red faced nurse marched in. The expression, "If looks could kill," came to mind.

"RAZORBLADE?" she barked, snatching it out of my hand and putting it in a plastic sandwich bag.

"Is this your bag?" she asked, picking it up from the floor.

I didn't answer, just took my mp3 player out of my pcket and started listening to music, and she left.

Shit. I'd forgotten about the CCTV. I guess they're pretty serious about this surveillance then.

The door opened again, and Max rushed in, babbling on about how thin her roomate was, and how annoying the nurses were. She plopped down on the bed next to me, fuming with anger and fustration.

"Okay, Max. Calm down, you're doing a Nudge on us." I said, taking out my earphones and pausing the song.

"Ugh, sorry, it's just so…." She trailed off, looking rather more upset than I would have expected form Max, so moved closer to her, wrapping my arms around her.

See, we have a bit of an on/off thing going on. It's hard to explain, it's like… I dunno. Sometimes we're "togther" and sometimes we're just normal.

Anyway, that was a big mistake, hugging her, because she put her hand on my arm where I'd just cut and got a handfull of blood and antiseptic cream. Now she was really upset. Oops.

Uuuuhm…. Thinking fast, I leant in and kissed her. She kissed back for a while but then pulled away, only slightly mollyfied.

"No, Fang. We have to talk about this," she gestured to my arm with her bloodied hand and then wiped It on my shirt.

In any other situation I would have been annoyed, but Max was on a mission.

"We've only been here… what? An hour? Is it _that_ bad?" She asked, hurt showing in her eyes. She had this idea that it was her fault.

"Max..." I tried, but she interupted again.

"While we're here, just… just try, okay? Please… for me?" Does she not know how many times I've tried to stop? It's not like a switch. _It's hard._

But in some quiet part of my brain, my nagging concience asked, "Maybe she would understand if you told her."

I looked at Max, tears welling in her eyes. She didn't need that now.

"Okay." I promised. I had a feeling I was going to regret that later, but the smile that spread across her face made it worth it.

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Okay, so what did you think???? It was longer, thats good right????? review and tell us!

Oh yeah, we're both english, so we might not get all of the american terms right, so please correct us if we do, in a review...

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	3. Chapter 3

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**AN:** This is chapter 3, of our story Razorblade Romance. As you may have guessed from the title, this story involves self harming, strong language and scenes of a sexual nature (yay for fax!). This is a joint story between myself and the-only-english-rose. Oh yeah, and in this chapter, i think i definitely missed out on some of the americanisms, so sorry about that. And it's long! YAY! 

**Disclaimer:** Obviously, we do not own any of the characters you recognise, however, there are quite a few characters and places names etc that we do own. You may notice that this story shares a few plot details with CrimsonScarz story, "scars" and we've spoken to her abut this and she's absoloutely fine with it. Also, i'd like to point out that we introduce a character named Jesse who is hispanic in this chapter, he is not, however, Meg Cabots Jesse de Silva, he is a friend who is important to our lives and so he has a part, the name and descent is a coincidence.

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**MAX POV **

I jumped up as an impossibly loud bell rang througout the room, nervously checking for erasers or flyboys. That was, of course, before I remebered that I was stuck in a adolescent mental institution because of Fang's problem.

I was glad I was here, I mean, if I wasn't there was no way Fang would even consider trying to get better.

However, I had no idea why I was here, I mean, I don't have a problem and I really wanted to stay here the whole time with Fang which means… I have to make one up?!

What if I don't do it right??? They'll know immediately! Awh, God. Why does the school make everything so difficult for us???

Anyway, I decided to think about that later when I'd observed some of the other people here, and see which is the easiest to mimic.

So I looked over at my room mate who was facing the other way and taking off her pyjamas.

Oh Shit.

I could see every bone in her body, which was riddled with bruises and cuts, many of which formed patterns and shapes.

There was no way she could have done some of those herself.

She turned around then, and I saw that her front was equally damaged, her skeletal frame shaking slightly in a cold draft passing through the room.

A lump formed in my throat and I slapped a hand over my mouth as I saw what was carved into her concave stomach.

Fuck. She had cut "Fuck," into her stomach. Oh my God.

The strangest mix of emotions washed over me then. Revulsion, anger, shock, sorrow an strangely, remorse.

I sunk slowly back onto my bed, strangled sobs emerging from my throat. That poor, poor girl.

She looked up to meet my eyes, then rushed cover herfelf up, coming to sit down next to me, putting a sticklike arm around my shoulders.

"Hey, what's up?" she asked in a quiet, concerned voice.

Suddenly I was angry.

"How, how can you do that to yourself?" I demanded, tears flowing freely now.

"What would possibly make you think that that," I gestured loosely at her, "Would make anything better?"

I buried my face in my hands, and she wrapped her other arm around me, rocking me gently.

A few minutes later I had calmed down.

"Sorry," I said. "I just.."

She nodded. Ugh, she probably thinks I'm a complete weirdo now, I don't know what came over me. I'm never like that!

"That's okay. I guess I shouldn't have just undressed like that. Are you squeemish about blood?" She asked.

I shook my head.

"No. Just the whole… cutting thing."

It's weird, how het up I get about it, really. I've seen Fang's cuts often enough, and it still strikes a chord.

"Stay clear of the bathrooms, then." She joked, her gaunt features rising into a smile.

I smiled back. "I'm Max, by the way." I told her.

"Cool. I'm Clara. We'd better get dressed, it's breakfast in 15 minutes."

She got up off my bed and rummaged in her draws, throwing out random articles of clothing.

I followed her lead, pulling on dark blue jeans, a white teeshirt and a baggy grey hoody, carefull not to let Clara see my wings, but she wasn't looking anyway. I cleaned my teeth and brushed my hair, pulling it into a loose bun. Tying the laces of my sneakers, I looked over at what clara was wearing.

Let's just say. Wow.

She had on jet black drainpipe jeans,which were turned over at her feet, revealing electrick pink lining and black converses with crazy, non-matching laces.

Her top was short sleaved and vertically striped with alternating pink and black.

Around her neck she wore a long chain reaching to her midriff where a large, black and white plastic star hung.

Her arms were covered with pink fishnet armwarmers, and on her right wrist she wore a thick, black and white striped plasitc bangle.

Her hair was faded red, on the brink of pink and was pulled into two plaits, with a plain black plastic hairband separating it from her diagonal emo-fringe.

In her ear was a black and white striped ear-stetcher and her eyes were painted with first black, then pink eyeshadow.

I was just starting to recognise a pattern when she threw a green jacket over her arm. I looked at her in confusion, and she smiled.

"My pink one's in the wash." She said, then grabbed my hand and pulled me down the corridor.

To my surprise, she stopped and leaned against the wall outside Fang's bedroom. How did she know that I wanted to wait for him?

The door flew open and a tall, hispanic looking boy came out and started to walk off down the corridor before Clara grabbed his wrist and pulled him back.

"Jesse - Max, Max – Jesse.." She said.

"Hi." I said.

He just nodded and gazed distanly at something behind me. The door flew open again and Fang came out and gave me one of his, "I-would-smile-if-we-were-alone looks".

"Clara – Fang, Fang – Clara."

I introduced. Clara gave me a look which I interpereted to mean, "You didn't tell me you knew someone here."

What is it with these people and overly complex facial gestures?

Anyway, we all made it down to breakfast, and sat at a table with three other people and two of the staff.

Once the room was full, kitchen people came out with huge stacks of toast which they put on each table, where a selection of butter and jellies already stood.

One of the staff on our table said, "Okay, everyone, dig in. Two pieces each."

Fang and I were the first ones to grab a couple of pieces of toast, buttering them thickly, and spreading on copious amounts of jelly.

I was halfway through my second slice when I noticed the staff member at the end of the table staring hard and pointedly at Clara.

"Have some toast, Clara." He said.

She smiled. "No thanks, I'm not hungry."

"Clara, have some toast. You can't possibly be not hungry."

"Well, I'm not eating it." She said.

"Clara, please, it's just a piece of toast. It's hardly anything. You know you have to eat it."

"You can't make me," She said, glaring angrily at the man.

"Toast is very god for you, it's full of fibre and cereals," he picked up a piece of toast, buttered it and put it on a plate and handed it to clara.

She crinkled her nose like it was something disgusting and yelled accusingly.

"You're justr trying to make me fat! You want to make me fat like you! Wel, here's news for you; I'M NOT EATING IT!"

She stressed every last syllable, then picked up the plate of toast and smashed it against the floor.

No one else in the cafeteria more than looked up for a second, before turning back to their meal.

Clara's eyes gleamed in triumph as she stormed out of the room, letting the door slam behind her.

Woah.

I wish she'd eaten it though. It looked like she really needed it.

I was still really hungry though; we have to eat more than twice as much as normal people.

Tentatively, i asked the man who had argued with Clara, "Excuse me, Please can i have some more?" I pointed to the few pieces of toast left uneaten.

He eyed me with suspicion then said, "Don't you think you've had enough? This bread is very filling."

I guess not then.

"This is ridiculus," I whispered to Fang. "How are we supposed to –" He grabbed my hand, cathcing me before i could say, "fly on an empty stomach." But he did nod slightly.

A boy on my right, tapped my shoulder lightly and said under his breath,

"If you need more food, meet me outside the boys toilets on this floor at break, oaky?"

"Thanks," I murmured lightly.

The rest of breakfast was uneventful; Clara didn't come back, and at half nine, we headed off to classes.

**FANG POV **

Ok. I can do this, really I can.

There's no point being scared of a counsellor. All they do is talk to you right? And if its too bad I can just be anti-social and not say anything.

No problem.

But sat in class, wating for it to be my turn to go out, I'm more worried than I can say.

Shit.

A doctor's come to the door.

"Nicolas Seven? It's your turn to see Dr Ken Flockton."

I stood up, hoping it wasn't obvious how much I was shaking. I walked towards the doctor.

That was another thing about this place which annoyed me; all the doctors.

They had to 'escort' you everywhere as well. You could go to the toilet by yourself, other than that though…

I glared at the doctor, who set off down the corridor without saying a word to me.

After endless miles of gloomy corridor, we arrived at a door with the sign "Ken Flockton" on it.

The doctor pushed the door open and left.

At least this room was a little more cheerful than all the others I'd been in. The walls were a pale yellow colour and the capet was white, with a small multicoloured rug in the middle of the floor.

The only furniture was a whiteboard and a small wooden table in the middle of four bright blue chairs.

On one of these sat a tall, middle aged man, with short brown ahir and an impossibly big smile.

I hated him at once.

All thoughts about how I was going to try this for Max were consumed with hatred for him.

"Hello. You must be Nicholas?"

He leapt to his feet and tried to shake my hand, however my arm remained glued to my side.

"I'm Ken, Ken Flockton and I'm your counsellor. Have a seat." He gestured to one of the chairs, which I unwillingly perched on the end of.

"So, Nicholas – or may I call you nick?"

"Whatever," I mutterd, almost inaudibly.

"Well, Nick. We're here to talk about you, and to try and help you get better. Anything you say here I will hold with complete confidentiality. Unless, of course…"

I stopped listening.

"So, Nick?"

"What?" I glared.

"I'm going to be asking a lot of questions today, so that we can get to know each other really well alright?"

Yeah, right.

Get to knjow each other well.

What he really meant was he was going to nosey into my life and expect me to tell him everything coz I'm depressed.

No way would he tell me anything about his life.

This sucks.

"Tell me why you're depressed, when did things start to go wrong. Is it that you feel you're no normal, not accepted?"

Well, for your information Mr Fucking Flockton, actually, I've been depressed since a young age, the fact that I was turned into a mutant bird freak when I was 3 wouldn't have anything to do with that would it?

No? I didn't think so.

Then there's the fact that we've spent basically our whole lives on the run from erasers who would either kill us or take us back to the school who thought it was very 'interesting' to torture us and write down everything that we did on pieces of paper attached to clipboards..

Wait.

Argh.

Ken's writing everything I say down on a piece of paper.

"If you don't want to talk about this then I understand completely Nick. How's your family life going? Do you have a nice house?"

I nearly laughed in his face.

Nice house. Nice cave more like. And we were lucky if we got food from the rubbish tip. As for my family, well...

No way would I talk to him about my feelings for them…Max in particular…

After about half an hour of these pointless questions Ken seemed to have given up. "Is there anything at all you'd like to talk about Nicholas?"

Good. my silence had paid off.

"Right, well, you've got a choice now!" He said it like I was the luckiest kid in the world or something.

"We can either do a family tree for you, or a timeline of important events in your life time. Which would you prefer?"

Well a family tree was definitely not a possibility. Time line though? Well, when I was a baby I got turned into a mutant freak with wings.

Then we escaped The School. Jeb left us and we've spent the rest of our time escaping erasers. Until we failed.

That's how I ended up at this place.

I could just imagine Kens response; "Yes, and how exactly did that make you feel Nicolas?"

All the time with that stupid smile on his face. Did he really believe I thought it was genuine?

Having still refused to talk for the entire hour.

Ken tried a shot at one last question "So do you like animals? Do you have any pets?"

This made me think of Total and, obviously, Angel.

Before I knew it I had images of the whole flock floating round my head. It hurt so much to think about what tortures were happeding to them at the school.

I stood up.

"I have to go back now. Good bye." And I walked out.

But I didn't go back to class, I went to the nearest toilets, as our rooms were locked. I crumpled to a heap in a corner, grateful that they had at least restrained from putting cameras in the toilets.

It was a good thing I'd bought so many razorblades, as the searches always revealed at least one.

I pulled a razorblade out and just looked at it.

The emotions were whirling around my head so fast I barely recognised one before another took its place.

Hurt.

Anger.

Sadness

Loneliness

Fear.

Uselesness

Neurotic

Insecurity.

I'm messed up.

Big time.

Just as I was looking forward to the relaxing sensation of cutting to drive away these feelings and replace them with joy, a male nurse came in.

Shit.

Another razorblade down and I didn't even get to cut.

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So, how was it??? Thanks to all those people who have already reviewed the last couple of chapters, btw, it's so great getting reviews!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh yeah, and in the breakfastscene, i heard somwhere that americans call "jam" "jelly" so im so sorry if thats not right!!!! gawd, that would be a bit embarrasing actually.

Anyway,

please review!!!

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	4. Chapter 4

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**AN:** This is chapter 4, of our story Razorblade Romance. As you may have guessed from the title, this story involves self harming, strong language and scenes of a slightly sexual nature (yay for fax!). Also, we are not encouraging slefharming, it is not a good idea, and only leads to bad things. If you feel bad, tell someone okay?? This is a joint story between myself and the-only-english-rose.

**IMPORTANT NOTICE**

We are thinking about moving this story to the **M **section, but aren't sure yet, so we're going to put it to the vote of the reviewers. Obviously, if it stays in **T **there will be no differences, but if in the future we do decide to have Max and Fang going all the way, then these scenes will be put in a separate fiction. The story is going to be written much the same as it is now, its not going to suddenly become light and cute or whatever. You've seen the content so far, you know what language we're using, its up to you to decide whether its appropriate for 13+. Okay, thats all, enjoy...

**Disclaimer:** Obviously, we do not own any of the characters you recognise, however, there are quite a few characters and places names etc that we do own. You may notice that this story shares a few plot details with CrimsonScarz story, "scars" and we've spoken to her abut this and she's absoloutely fine with it. Also, i'd like to point out that we introduce a character named Jesse who is hispanic in this chapter, he is not, however, Meg Cabots Jesse de Silva, he is a friend who is important to our lives and so he has a part, the name and descent is a coincidence.

* * *

**FANG POV **

I had been listening to Jesse's breathing for what seemed like eternity. Our room was eerily quiet; it seemed almost like any place other than an adolescent mental home.

As my glance reached the closet though, the constant flashing of the camera reminded me that everything wasn't okay.

I still couldn't understand why I was in here though. Yeah, okay, I cut – what's wrong with that?

You cut your skin, it bleeds a little, then you make sure it heals up nicely with no infection. A few scars perhaps, but it's our own body you're scarring. Nobody else's business.

Plus, it makes you want to stay alive.

Which is, apparently, a good thing.

How are we meant to get over our depression in this place anyway?

Talk about it?

Fun.

It's just so much effort to get out of the habits of a lifetime. And to be honest, I'm not sure I want to. It's a survival technique, if I stopped it, where would that put me?

I thought the whole point of this place was to stop you committing suicide, not make you even more suicidal.

And I know that I promised Max I'd try, I don't want to let her down because I hate letting any one down, especially Max.

But how much can you do for other people? I'm not even sure I trust her completely anymore, not after she caught me cutting.

I think she's lying when she says it was an accident.

It couldn't have been an accident. I don't hate her for it, just . . . don't trust her as much as I used to.

I really want to get through this though, really, really.

I don't think I can though.

If I knew that this was guaranteed to help, that I'd definitely get through and life would be fine, then maybe I'd try.

But there isn't that guarantee, and my life would never be normal anyway, face it, I'm a mutant freak.

We're just not meant to be.

Maybe that's why I'm so messed up.

As it is, just trying to get out of this emotional turmoil hurts too much. I don't understand how counseling helps anyway.

There's this song, which I can't remember much of, just one line:

_Remember more than you'd like to forget. _

That's how counseling is.

Thinking about how to stop things which help you survive and remembering feelings which made you want to die.

Not good.

So I've decided to give up. I'm not strong enough to keep going with this, to try and get better, so I won't.

I can cope.

Stuff will be okay one day, but no one can help apart from me.

I'm giving up.

**MAX POV **

I'd been observing Fang today.

It makes me sound like an evil white-coat, but it's better than saying I was spying, because that just sounds evil.

It's not that I don't trust him, but with this… well, I wasn't so sure.

If he lied to me last night, I will be very upset, because he needs to stop so much.

Anyway, that's how I wound up following him into the boys bathroom. And there he was, crouching under the furthest sink from the door, cutting himself.

I was so angry. But I wasn't just angry; I also had an overwhelming wash of hurt, which is ob because usually I can overcome feelings like that.

I bit my lip and shook my head, trying to clear away the tears which were bound to come pouring down my cheeks any minute now. How could he do this? Already, after just one day, he'd broken his promise. He knew how much it means to me, how much it upsets me to know what he's doing.

I vaguely registered Fang standing up and going to the sink where he washed the blade and his cuts, then sat down on the basin nearest to me.

"Max…" He tried, but I shot him a sour look and he averted his eyes to the floor, ready for my telling off.

"How could you, Fang? How could you?" I demanded, giving in to the tears, and letting them roll down my cheeks and drip off my chin, landing on the floor next to Fang's feet.

"I'm so angry. So, so angry… I can't even begin to …" My voice was raised now, as I put words to the venomous feelings rushing through my body.

"Max?" Fang ventured quietly, never looking up from the floor.

"What?" I sobbed angrily.

"Could we talk somewhere else, only, this is a toilet and… people might come in." He said coolly, his words lined with a foreign mix of anger and guilt.

I have to admit that he was right, so, I calmed myself down for a few seconds, just enough to say,

"Whatever you like, Fang."

He stood up; his eyes meeting mine briefly until he looked away and brushed past me, out of the door.

He strode down the corridor quicker than he would have usually, two of my steps matching one of his, until he reached the glass door that led to the dormitories.

And I have to say, that If I wasn't so angry, I would have been impressed as he punched the correct code into the keypad on the door frame and the door clicked open.

He dashed up the stairs and broke into his room with what looked like a hair grip, but could have been anything. I followed him in, shutting the door behind me and moved to sit next to him on his bed, wiping my eyes at the same time.

"Fang, please tell me, why, why are you doing this? You promised me you would try, and now, just one day later, you've given in!" Wiping my tears away had become redundant as more and more poured uncontrollably over my face.

I looked over at fang through the watery haze and saw him look away from me pointedly, pursing his lips.

"I never cry, Fang, but I'm crying for you. I'm so worried about you. Tell me, talk to me Fang." I wanted so much to understand, wanted so much to take some of the load.

The flock were the most important people in my life, I wanted to protect them within an inch of my existence but Fang was drifting further and further away. Loosing him would destroy me.

And as I glanced up at him, I realized that now he was further away than ever before. And then I became slightly hysterical. I choked down a sob, burying my face in my hands, my whole body shaking with the effort of staying in control.

I couldn't form any sensible thoughts as my mind was infected with images Fang flying away into the night, leaving me behind.

"Max?" I ignored him.

I felt the bed move a little, and then his arms wrapped around me, and I leaned into him instinctively, desperate to reassure myself that he was really there.

"I'm sorry max. I know I promised you and I really don't want to let you down, that's why I went through with this in the first place; for you. But I can only take so much. I know I'm not trying my hardest, because… because I'm scared to." He murmured all this into my hair, but I heard every word of his confession as if he was speaking straight into my thoughts.

"It hurts too much, Max. I'm not strong like you, I can't cope with it. And it's not guaranteed to help anyway. Why go through all this pain if it won't help?"

I had calmed down a little now, I know Fang hated talking about himself, and he deserved my full attention.

"Please believe that you can do this, Fang, because I know that you can. Please, Fang. I want this so much for you. If there was a way for me to do it in your place I would. You can help yourself. Ignore the pain, Fang, please, for me, and for the flock." I sat up as I said this, taking his hand and holding his gaze.

"Never say that, Max. I would never want you to go through this; I would never wish this on you."

I looked down at his hand in mine and whispered quietly,

"But I would do it anyway."

Fang sighed, also looking down at our entwined hands.

"It's too much. I'm not strong enough, Max. Not yet anyway. It's making me worse, and I know that it works over time, it's not an instant cure, and you have to keep going. And I really want to persevere. But I CAN'T. I'm trying so hard but it's too much."

Our eyes met again.

"But you're living an illusion, Fang. And every time you… " I couldn't bring myself to say it, but Fang knew what I meant.

"You fall further and further into make believe. Further and further away from me and the flock."

His arms wrapped around me again, pulling me into his lap.

"I'm not going anywhere, Max." He said, kissing my temple.

"You and the flock are what keep me going, and sometimes, isn't it better to live in a lie, if it's a better place than the real world?"

I didn't really know how to answer that one.

"I suppose, but, Fang, promise me that one day – it doesn't have to be tomorrow, or the next day or the day after – promise me that one day you will get better."

I looked up to his face and kissed him softly on the lips before he had time to answer, mainly because I just wanted to be comforted.

As we broke apart, he whispered so close to me that I could feel the low hum of his voice on my lips.

"I promise. But not today."

I smiled for the sake of it and kissed him again, only this time more … deeply than before, and I wound my arms around his neck, pulling myself closer to him.

"Max?" Fang asked.

"Yes…" I replied, distracted by watching his lips form my name.

"I have one question."

"Uh huh?"

"Why are you kissing me?"

What? Where did that come from? Oh, God… I hope…

"I, uh… what do you mean?" Was he telling me he didn't want me to kiss him?

"I mean, why are you kissing me? What makes you want to… kiss me?"

Well, what a strange thing to ask. I was kissing him because he was extremely hot, I had harbored a crush on him for more than a year, and I loved him to bits.

And then I realized that I'd never told him this. We just kissed and left it at that. No questions asked.

I guess now would be a good time to tell him.

"Because you are extremely kissable," I teased, "And because I … love you." I said, blushing.

Fang smiled and kissed me again.

"Good."

And then he took a sharp breath and scrutinized my face.

"I… err… I love you too, so… um… that's good… right?"

I held back a laugh. At times like this it was so easy to forget.

"Yes, silly." I joked.

We kissed again, this time with more assurance and less inhibitions.

Fang held me close in his arms and rested his chin on top of my head.

"You make me forget, Max." He murmured it so softly that I was sure I wasn't meant to hear, but even so, it was just what I needed to hear.

I sighed happily, then pushed Fang back on his bed playfully and he pulled me on top of him.

"What class are we meant to be in?" I wondered. Fang gave me a funny look.

"_Group Discussion_," He said as if it were something disgusting.

"Why, do you want to go back?" He smirked, already knowing what my answer was. So I decided to surprise him.

"Yeah, Okay." I said, and got off him, straightening my clothes.

"Wait… what?" He asked, and let me tell you, the look on his face was priceless.

"Well, we've got to get back to class, haven't we?" I asked, and held out a hand for him.

He gave another look like a lost puppy, but took my hand anyway, but before I could pull him to his feet, he had pulled me back onto the bed, but underneath him this time.

He slowly kissed and nibbled his way up my neck and along my jaw, stopping at the corner of my mouth to ask,

"Do we _have_ to go to Group Discussion? We could always stay here…" He said, his breath fanning across my face, sending tingles down my spine.

"Fine. If I must," I obliged, then wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him hungrily and more passionately than I had before.

And then, the door banged open and Jesse and Clara walked in. Well, I say walked, I mean fell-into-the-room-whilst-attached-to-each-others-mouths.

Fang jumped off me and we sat up, trying to look as innocent as possible, and Clara and Jesse sprang apart. And then the four of us sat there, having a blushing contest until Clara spoke up.

"So… you two aren't cousins then?"

Fang and I laughed, whilst the other two looked relieved.

"Why on earth would you think that?" I asked, perplexed.

"There's a rumor going round…"

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Okay, so what do you think? Not our best so far, but it's okay. Did anyone find it a little confusing, because, obviously, we know exactly whats going on, but you only know how much we tell you.

Anyway, review, and tell us what you think about moving it up to M...

And we'll have the next chapter up soon, but not as quickly as before, 'cause we're going back to school next tuesday... so we'll be busy with the start of term...


	5. Chapter 5

AN: okay here you go, i know its not very long.. okay, its really short, but it'll have to do.and also, we tried really hard to get into the mindset of a 6yr old, but its kind of hard to describe what depression feels like with the vocabularly and understanding of a young child.

we should be able to write more soon, as its our half term holiday now (yayyyyy!) and itll be back to max and fang in the next chapter.

Oh, and the main reason for this chapter is 'cause HermioneGranger1993 and meepisms suggested it, so here you go, you two, i hope it meets your expectations

Diclaimer: you all know what we do and dont own...

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Angel POV

It was strange really, that I actually felt quite sleepy. No, not sleepy... that word that means you are calm and quiet...relaxed.

Before, the school was very scary, but now, even though the white-coats were still in charge, it wasn't so bad.

I watched Gazzy and Nudge playing their new version of hide and seek in the trees.

The tropical jungle thing we were in was really cool, lots of space to fly around, and lots of food!

My turned to look at Iggy, who was making dinner, and even though he was concentrating really hard, and was thinking about food, I knew something wasn't right.

Suddenly a new feeling came over me, it wasn't happiness, or peacefulness, or even calmness

It was pain.

It felt like the dark, at night when you can't see anything.

So horrid.

I didn't want to live, as if dying would be better. It was like the most depressed you can feel, but without any faint glimmer of hope.

No hope.

All the worst feelings you can imagine, tumbling round your head and colliding with each other.

Like you'd imagine death to be.

Death …

It seems inviting, an end to all the struggles, an end to the School and happiness.

This mix of emotions was too much. I started crying, wrapping my hands around my knees and slowly rocking back and forth.

I didn't know those feelings even existed. I didn't want to know.

How could anyone feel those things?

More importantly, why was **I **feeling those things?

There wasn't anybody nearby who looked upset. Iggy, was, as usual when cooking, expressionless, but not obviously upset.

Nudge and Gazzy were flying about shrieking with laughter so it couldn't be them feeling that way.

The feelings faded away into nothingness, but still leaving confusion.

That's when it hit me.

Fang.

He was always the one with the most unreadable feelings, and the darkest.

Something was wrong with him, very wrong.

And I was going to find out what.

Iggy POV

It had been about a week since Max and Fang had been sent off somewhere. Probably for more experiments or some other evil-science stuff. I was starting to really miss them. The rest of the flock were as well. I wasn't meant for leading; I like to have time to myself to just quietly build bombs and stuff, so everyone was feeling the strain. I have to say one thing though; I will definitely appreciate Max more when we get out of here.

The "enclosure" the school had put us in was actually not that bad, considering we were being "observed" constantly. It was a pretty big circular hall, with a huge glass dome roof which meant there were no artificial lights. About ¾ of the hall was taken up by some sort of forest and then the rest was a sand covered area where we had a tent and fire. Basically, the scientists were trying to figure out how we survived in the wild when we were running away from them.

Even though this was pretty much a luxury compared to our previous accommodation at the school, or at Itex, I still couldn't wait for Max and Fang to come back so we could break free.

Which reminds me of another problem. Well, not problem... more like... situation. Fang.

What is up with him? Over the last couple of months he has drawn more and more into himself, basically living like a recluse, only, near other people. If you get what I mean. He's become... darker. I don't know how I can tell this, but I just... it's almost as if he's not really there, like a shadow, almost.

And although I've been making excuses to myself and denying it, I heard him snapping razors in a hotel once, a few weeks before we were captured.

Accepting this has been THE hardest thing ever, and I'm still not sure I have completely. It's the weirdest feeling. Sort of a mix between disappointment, shock, anger and worry.

Fang is like a brother to me. Only closer. The type of close that only comes when you've been through several life and death situations together. The whole flock is like that. Super – family.

And it sounds like I'm about to proclaim my undying love for him, but I assure you, you won't get that from ME. That would be Max's job. Whenever she gets round to it.

Yeah, I'm not like that. I like... well, someone who is not a boy. i.e. a girl. But she doesn't like me back. I'll give it a few years to see how things span out... and then decide whether to give it up as a lost cause or not.

But back onto the topic of Fang possibly having a little problem. I wonder if Max knows. I don't think Fang would tell her; he's not one to ask for help. Which would probably be one of the reason why he's doing this. If he is.

But she could have found out on her own, like me. If I'm right.

Do any of the rest of the Flock know? Should I tell them? It might just worry them, or get it into theirs heads that it's their fault. Which would not be good. We don't want anyone else getting like that.

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so... what do you think? we dont think its amazing. well actually, eh, never mind, just review with what you think and we'll have the next chapter up without such a ridiculous wait

byexxx


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